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Random Thoughts on Everything

Shhh don't tell anyone but President Trump has made a secret deal with the Houthis … so secret that initially they knew nothing about it.

In Britain, Labour’s bigwigs have developed a secret plot to alienate voters from Nigel Farage. Elsewhere, Netanyahu and Putin secretly chat as best friends. The BBC are secretly staunch supporters of Israel (nah … only joking!) The North Koreans are secretly rewarding the families of soldiers who died fighting against Ukraine. In France, President Macron secretly invited Syria’s Islamist leader to visit Paris … maybe with a dastardly plan to tip him off the Eiffel Tower.

The Irish band Kneecap are secretly sorry for publicly shouting antisemitic support for the terror organisations Hamas and Hezbollah … no, my mistake, they’re simply misunderstood and only sorry to get caught. And despite being caught on film it wasn’t them who told their audience, ‘kill your local MP.’ In fact, shhhh don’t tell Starmer, they’re staunch supporters of Reform UK, and weren’t even performing a concert on the night in question.

Also caught out … yet again. The BBC have very quietly decided to drop their next, super illuminating, one-sided, Hamas controlled documentary on ‘Medics Under Fire.’ Only Palestinian medics (heroes), because obviously, Israeli medics (bastards) don't count. Nor do the rockets transported in Red Crescent ambulances to the Hamas launchers that indiscriminately fire them over the border into Israel. Since October 7, 13,200 rockets, 5,000 of them sent over on the first day. Same old, same old from the BBC.

Nigel Farage won't be expecting Kier Starmer’s assault on his apparent friendship with Putin. Starmer’s fiendishly clever plot to expose Farage as a shameless, ultra right-wing, Kremlin lover, will come as no huge surprise to him. Particularly after the clueless Labour leader announced it in advance to a newspaper journalist. Well, there is a fresh Pope, I expect Starmer got caught up in confession fever, and what with TikTok being so truthful, no one reads real print anymore … do they?

Trump chose to release news of his secret peace deal with the Houthis whilst sitting with Mark Carney. ‘The Houthis don’t want to fight anymore, they just don’t want to fight,’ announced Trump. I’m sure the new Prime Minister of Canada was deeply impressed to hear the boast, ‘they have capitulated … they will not be blowing up American ships.’ What a coup for Trump, his balls proven to be bigger than any in Canada. He gave no explanation for the Houthis sudden decision to cuddle up and love bomb America but many think the order came from Iran. Confusion arose when a different Houthi faction sent out their immediate denial of any peace agreement. Oh how Carney must have laughed. Probably split his sides later when cheering Trump’s self-serving betrayal. Yes the Shia Muslim Houthis would spare American ships, but continue bombing Israel. It’s their faux sympathy for Gaza’s disliked but useful, Sunni population that keeps them in world news. Don’t all shout at once … America first.

Bibi Netanyahu called Vladimir Putin to exchange warm greetings on the 80th anniversary of victory over Nazi Germany. The red army played a huge part in that victory, and it seems Netanyahu took the opportunity to remind his ‘friend’ that many of the commanders and soldiers involved were Jewish. Although few details of their chat are public I’d like to think their discussion about ‘regional developments’, included Bibi saying, ‘about that arms deal with Iran, Vlad? What the f**k were you thinking!?’

Another friend to the popular Putin is North Korea’s revered leader, Kim Jong Un. He has developed a policy of quietly re-housing bereaved families in brand new property built in Pyongyang the capital city, a place where only the favoured elite are allowed to live or visit. He’s giving out smart addresses like bags of candied rat droppings. No fool, he wants to buy off the disgruntled families and keep them under close scrutiny after their precious children have died fighting for Russia against Ukraine. Shhh, dissent in North Korea is not an option.

Macron, unpopular with the French, has illusions of grandeur that include a try-hard relationship with both Putin and Trump. His invitation to Ahmed al-Sharaa, leader of Syria, to visit the Elysee Palace, received a cool reception from various political parties who felt concerned that their President was giving a Jihadist ex-member of al-qaeda the opportunity to strut like a super-model on the world stage. I think Macron is a caring man who will kindly explain to this new, teddy bear leader, with his fuzzy beard and gentle eyes, that all civilians must be protected, ‘regardless of their origin or religion.’ The Druze, the Kurds and the Alawites may be sceptical, but I fully expect a few delicious pain au chocolat, a cafe creme, and an impassioned rendition of Edith Piaf’s ‘Non, je ne regrette rien’ will bring a tear to the eye … and lasting peace.